Thoughts from Teenagers about Death and Grief

The following thoughts may help adults understand the impact of death on teens, and some things they typically think, feel, and experience.

Actual thoughts gleaned from pre-teen and teenagers after a death.

  • “It makes me mad when people say, ‘Everything’s going to be OK,’ or, ‘Don’t cry,’ or ‘Don’t be sad’ ‘Be strong’. I can’t help the way I feel”
  • “I didn’t expect that I would ever not be able to call her/him or see her/him or talk to her/him again.
  • So many things are still in my future, and I always expected her/him to be there with me and for me.”
  • “Not seeing her/him every day and talking to her/him.”
  • “Adapting to life without my mum—she was my best friend.”
  • “Going to school with the weight of thinking about it.”
  • “Realizing my hero was gone forever.”
  • “My friends didn’t know what to say.”
  • “My friends came to the funeral but didn’t understand.”
  • “I lost some of my friends because they didn’t know what to do.”
  • “My family is missing a big part. It feels empty.”
  • “After the death, my family fell apart. My sister and I were expected to grow up fast.”
  • “I’m angry about how many regrets I have.”
  • “I was angry every time I see my mother and my sister cry and seeing their pain that I can’t take away.”
  • The day I found out…
  • “I was in shock.”
  • “I didn’t understand.”
  • “I was numb.”
  • “I couldn’t believe it had happened.”
  • “After the accident, I was scared. I was scared to grow up without my dad.”
  • “After my dad died, I was afraid I would become an orphan if my mum died.”
  • “I pretended to be strong. No one would have guessed the turmoil inside of me.”
  • “I just want to be normal again.”

Quotes From Teens About Death and Grief

  • “I had so many unanswered questions running through my mind.”
  • “Why did he have to die?”
  • “What was going to happen to me?”
  • “Would my pain ever go away?”
  • “I felt angry and alone.”
  • “None of my friends understood what I was going through.”
  • “A lot of them stopped talking to me, probably because they didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to upset me.”
  • “What they didn’t understand was that not being there for me hurt me more than anything they could have said.”
  • “After my brother died, life was so hard to live.”
  • “There were days that I sat there and I didn’t think I could live anymore without my brother.”
  • “Whenever a birthday, holiday or special occasion would come along, I would always end up shedding at least a few tears.”
  • “Nothing was the same without my brother.”
  • “When my mum asked how I was doing, I would quickly reply that I was OK, not wanting to confide in her what was really happening to me.”
  • “I had no support from any of my friends, so I felt the need to isolate myself.”
  • “I was battling grief all by myself, because I knew my parents and siblings were busy dealing with their own grief.”
  • “Emotionally, my family and I were on different planets.”
  • “It was just one year ago in August that my Mother was killed in a car accident. I remember the sense of hopelessness that I immediately felt.”
  • “Life just stopped the next days, weeks and months of my life. I was sure no one understood my feelings.”
  • “I didn’t really know other teens going through the same experience. I was lost, just going through my daily routine, not sure how my life could ever improve.”
  • “I had just lost my aunt to cancer. She was only 38 years old and she had a huge impact on my life.”
  • I thought, ‘Nobody knows how I feel; nobody knows what’s going on in my life.’ I was devastated when she died and I felt that I no longer had anyone or control of anything.”
  • “My grades were slipping and I started making poor choices.”

Talk to your pre-teens as well as your teenagers as they have feelings as well; except that they frequently don’t have the life experience to know how to handle grief situations.  Frequently, adults don’t realise the damage that not talking to a child dealing with grief can do.

For more information or for guidance and assistance with funeral arrangements, please contact us at anytime via our contact us page.